Mastering Fear . . . By Facing It

Yesterday I received a very powerful reminder about fear that brought me to attention. After giving a luncheon seminar for the YWCA Leadership Series, one of the audience members came up to me and told me that we had met on June 21, 2010 at a Ladies Who Launch Meeting.

I instantly remembered that night too. It was the longest day of the year and Susannah Goulder was the speaker. My long-lost friend told me that she remembered how I stood up that night at Susannah’s urging and shared a big dream in front of about 50 witnesses. I had told the group that I was writing a book called Energy Makeover and that I envisioned myself being interviewed about the book on the NBC Today Show with Ann Curry. Boy, that was courageous and outrageous! What was I thinking?

While I had long forgotten that moment at the LWL program, this kind woman had only a few moments ago learned that Energy Makeover had not only been published, but also had become an Amazon Best Seller. She was thrilled for me because she had been on this journey with me since June of 2010 and just had to speak up. My heart was warmed by this experience and I was also reminded of all the fear I had to overcome these past two years. Maybe I hadn’t been on the Today Show, but so many big dreams had come true.

What if I hadn’t faced my fear when…..

1. Being an author in the Next Top Spiritual Author Contest required that I make and submit a video book proposal at a time when I did not think I had access to a video camera, tripod, editing software or a clue how edit or post something on YouTube. I learned what I needed to learn about making videos, released my need for perfection and created a video anyway!

2. I had to ask every soul I knew to watch my imperfect video and vote for Energy Makeover on the Next Top Author Contest web site when I was embarrassed about being out there on YouTube.  I was also unfamiliar with Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and social media in general. I learned to navigate social media, build my online network and get over my fear of being judged and criticized for revealing what I really look like and what I believe. I advanced to Round 2 in that contest and, more importantly, created the foundation for future social media outreach and an online presence I never before imagined.

3. I didn’t advance to the final round in The Next Top Author Contest and felt I wasn’t good enough to be an author. I learned that I needed to hire a coach to motivate and inspire me to get Energy Makeover completed. My coach, Ann McIndoo, helped me to share my unique message and taught me a great process anyone can use to write a book in 90 days or less in the midst of a busy life.

4. The Energy Makeover manuscript was finished and I realized that I could not let another soul edit or read it because I was afraid of judgment and criticism. I learned to shift out of the fear by seeking support. After scheduling a brief session with Coach Ann, I took her advice and on that same day hired a professional editor, rallied the help of 14 volunteer editors AND found a publisher. Months later I was sensible enough to hire Peggy McColl to coach me on marketing a book on Amazon and Holly Matson, a wonderful assistant to manage the book launch project.

5. I was flatly refused by many of the book launch partners I had hoped and assumed would be willing to help with the Energy Makeover Amazon launch. I learned, through my coach Peggy McColl, that I should forge ahead with the launch, keep asking and that it would all work out. That was the day I forgave myself for being such a control freak and decided to put it into God’s hands.

The existence of Energy Makeover and the events of this week would not have happened if I would have stopped at any of the “fear moments” mentioned above. It has always been my job to notice the fear, step into it and realize that fear simply brings forth an opportunity to learn and grow.

I must also admit that Energy Psychology and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) have been part of my fear-busting arsenal at every step of this journey. When I find the intensity building, I now more quickly recognize it and begin clearing it.

While fear can be very isolating, I also know to connect to a higher power and the outside world for help and expertise when I feel like shutting down.

There is a fork in the road at each terrifying moment that gives you the choice to isolate or connect. Connection is the only answer. Where there is connection, there lies a happy ending.

Practice Time: Ask yourself each day if there is something you aren’t doing because you are afraid of judgment, criticism, or some other nasty outcome? Have the courage to examine what you are really afraid of, use a self-care process like EFT to soothe your feelings, take a moment to pray as you ask who might be out there as a resource for you. In every case of fear, there is a resource waiting to respond to your need. Your burden will become so much easier once you are aligned with the intention to move forward.